I am moved by you, that you were mother. No Mother, no you are not her. I see my self in you as in her grey eyes, smile at each other both curve up to the right. But yet I do not know you. I do not see my reflection in the tiny pieces of glass they glue to their figures.
Try to render their figure, try to clearly describe them and my mind fills with smoke. Choke out all knowledge with their violence, it cannot be my violence. I was told I had none. I feel an emptiness in…
Strain to understand. I cannot reach you where you are, beyond life. Like all others, I wish to walk from one room, and into another.
The seeds I planted late have stunted and I am kicking around forums and sending emails to former bosses. Claw my way into allowing my soul breath.
Crowd, all say the same things. They are slightly off on the round. It is not that they are wrong, it is that they provide no alternative.
I have been begging for help since words could escape my lips. The sea at an imbalance. …
Tongue swollen, we can no longer communicate
not that we really could before, I have been speaking the language of beasts. Nobody had told me.
You told me that the only option for you, was death. You could not turn, but only watch others around you, me included, spinning around and around like tops. You couldn’t turn your head.
Winding film playing a story we were all forced to write, maybe you didn’t put the gun to our heads. Now you stand here, supervising, ensuring that the narrative plays out just as they told you it should.
The film sprockets…
It is a factory, it is cause and causing and making gifts
I am no worker I wear no collar of any pinks or blues or even whites
barred in I am trapped in fortress, like skull
Holding all of me together, glued together shattered pieces
Swarms of bees make more and more noise
do not say anything to me in here, they do not say anything
I have taken off my clothes and you remain
same as before in layered outfits, I am at risk like this, you know
I want more space on the road, or for it…
It is odd to think now how the world has changed
And we thought it into being
All formed from the mist of what we see
What we think we see
I loved you on a wintery day with no snow on the ground
For once I was unaware of myself, caught off guard
Showered with gifts and attention
Now I replay old videos
Nostalgic VHS tapes
over and over again
Perhaps this time he will not jump into the water
maybe I will become him entirely
I don’t think that would make me happy though